It SHOULD be the most wonderful time of the year...

And yet it is not. Here we are, nearing the wonderful confectionary holiday known as Halloween, to be closely followed by warm and cozy Thanksgiving and then later, gift and food-filled Christmas. There is a nip in the air now, leaves are starting to turn colors, and Daylight Savings time is nearing the close of another year. My brother came to visit me this weekend, and at several points we found ourselves killing time walking around various shopping areas of San Antonio, such as Huebner Oaks and the Quarry Market. As we entered the clothing stores, the Hallmarks, the Bath and Body Works, even the Starbucks, it was obvious that Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas were already alive and well inside these harbringers of holiday spirit. A slow sense of dread began to fill my stomach, replacing the Wendy's chicken sandwich and salad I had for lunch. What is wrong with me???

I normally love this time of year. As a matter of fact, I wrote about it earlier in this blog. However, this year is different. For some reason, I am dreading this season as it inevitably approaches. Why, you may ask? Why would someone who has always loved this glorious season suddenly fear its oncoming? Well, it has to do with the fact that I have several large projects and papers, some of which I have hardly cracked a BOOK on, that are all due in November and December. Oh, Mary, you say, that is not such a big deal. You go through this every year! You will make it - you always do well! That all may be true, but I feel as though I'm getting too old for this. My one gray hair is soon to be joined by several others, I just know it. I've never felt so incapable as I have this semester. These are some major capstone projects, not just the little research papers of undergraduate years. And what is worse, whenever I attempt to start on these things, I suddenly become absolutely fascinated with the things on my bookshelf, the people on my facebook, and the food in my refrigerator. Mary, you say, you are just being a procrastinator - you can fix that! Sure, yeah, right...no, I think there is something seriously wrong with me this time.

I end on a slightly lighter note. I keep telling myself - in two months, this will all be over and I'll be in Alabama eating Christmas Eve-Eve dinner with my grandparents and extended family. That will make it all better...until then, I will assume the fetal position. Wish me luck!